Four days
One week
One month
These are the respective countdowns for days remaining until my last final, Christmas break, and finally, my departure to Ireland.
As the days until Ireland dwindle, it becomes more apparent that my feelings about leaving are different than I had anticipated. I did not expect to be sad... but I am. I did not expect to feel so unsure of myself...but I do. I'm not ashamed to admit any of these sentiments. Sadness is a normal response to loss, and by leaving I am losing and missing a lot. I'm losing the familiarity of the people and places that I love. I'm missing the last semester that most of my friends will spend at Penn State. I'm missing the closure of graduation.
I am losing a lot, but it's clear to me that I'm gaining much more. I'm gaining a new perspective on the world. I'm gaining a better sense of who I am and what I want in life. I'm gaining the quiet confidence that only comes from being completely self-reliant. I'm gaining an experience; an adventure that no one can ever replicate, duplicate or take away from me.
Over the next month, I will attempt to say goodbye (only for now) to the people I love and to prepare myself for the trip of a lifetime.
